My Internet Night Journey

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the
funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place
for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for
the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by
the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by
check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an
Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no
alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of
his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me
to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIETELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR

(*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
# 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
# 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
# 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
# 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home .
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

# 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
# 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated
answering service.
# 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new
arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

(Remember: This was written by a 86 year old woman)

‘YA JUST GOTTA LOVE “US SENIORS” !!!!!

Ps: Ehm..honestly. I still wonder something about this one.

A guy’s wife and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatrician’s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.

After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.

The receptionist answered and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.

He went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?! The doctor can’t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!”

Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “No problem, if ever, please call to cancel the appointment?”

Ps: Korang pernah kene macam ni tak?

struct Indian_female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
}

struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
}

struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
}

struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
}

struct Indian_husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money-making;
}

Ps: Did you understand this coding? Its working on you or not?

This is how its begin.. 

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam,
“What’s wrong with you?”
Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.
He said, “This person will cook for you and wash your clothes.
She will always agree with every decision you make.
She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the night to take care of them.
She will not nag, and will be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement.
She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.”

Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?”
God said, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”
The rest is history.

Ps: Apa pendapat korang dengan benda nih? Adakah wajar dilawakkan?

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife’s annoyance.

“You’ll fart your guts out one of these days,” she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy’s arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

“You was right all along Missus,” the old man says, “I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push ‘em back in!”

Ps: Thats why many people think revenge is sweet. So, lets revenge together.

Pss: Hehe, sesuka hati je diorang wat lawak camni..

Ps: You need to read this joke without telling your cat. Hehe..

Helen’s eyes were not very good, so she usually wore glasses, but when she nineteen and began to go out with a young man, she never wore glasses when she was with him. When he came to the door to take her out, she would take her glasses off, and when she got back home again and he left, she would put them on.

??One day her mother asked her:

??”But Helen, why do you never wear glasses when you are with Jim? He takes you to such lovely places in his car, but you can’t see anything. ”

??”Well, mother,” said Helen. “I look prettier to Jim when I’m not wearing my glasses and he looks better to me, too.”

Ps: I just copy from others blog. But i forget who the person of that blog. So far, its nice to share right?

Its not much for me to start something different. But i hope i can do something about my life with this new blog. Hope i can find something different in this blog. I’m still searching at night about something i missing..

Actually. Tak banyak yang aku nak cerita dan sampaikan. Tapi blog ini aku titipkan pada seseorang yang aku rindu dan aku harap beliau baca blog ini walaupun aku tahu potensi untuk beliau baca agak rendah. Beliau adalah buta internet. So, aku rasa memang sukar nak tahu pasal blog ni.

Ianya berbeza. Tapi pasti sama dalam segi mencapai matlamat. So, aku harapkan sesuatu yang berlainan dari blog-blog aku yang sudah-sudah. All da best!

Ps: Dalam hati aku kuat mengatakan, mengapa ianya berbeza?

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